Parenting

Any attempt to over-program the Foundational Phases with lessons on skills acquisition can create conflict in the child’s mind. Little children are impressionable and eager to please, and will conform (at least mentally/emotionally) to the models and rules given them in this phase. Children in this period should be instructed and trained in gentle, loving, constructive and positive ways. Always remember that during these phases, children learn more by what we are and the environment and feelings that surround them than through the explicit teachings or activities we provide.

Crucially important life lessons are taught during these phases including abstract lessons and answers to deep questions such as: "What is success?" "What is maturity?" "How do I resolve conflict?" "What is home?" "What is my relationship with God?" "What is my relationship with others?" "What is my duty?" and so forth. When we give inappropriate attention to academic achievement during these phases, it can teach our children that they dislike academics because everything is hard and boring, and/or offer our children an alternative source of self-worth that is inferior to a genuine and positive self-concept resulting from living according to true values such as faith, good works and accountability.

Ask yourself: if my child could do or know only one thing, what would it be? Your answer might be something like: "that she is a child of God," "that her life is precious" or, "that she has the power to be happy." What is the second most important value you would want your child to internalize? Lessons and learning priorities that come from these questions are what constitute Core. You could continue the exercise for some time by prioritizing your values for your child’s life. Invariably such a list grows quite long before academic achievements begin to appear.

Source: Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning

Resources:

• Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning
• A Thomas Jefferson Home Companion, Ch. 4
• www.teachingselfgovernment.com
• The Parenting Breakthrough: Real-Life Plan to Teach Kids to Work, Save Money, and Be Truly Independent, Boyack
• The Parenting Pyramid, The Arbinger Institute
• www.rosemond.com
• www.loveandlogic.com
• A More Perfect Union, Hobaugh-Sorensen
• Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too, Mazlish